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Category Archives: Personal Experience

Are you rising to the NaNoWriMo challenge?

10 Oct

Next month sees the start of National Novel Writing Month, better known as NaNoWriMo. I’m going to assume most of you know what NaNo is but for those who don’t, here’s gist of it.

Thousands of writers from around the world will attempt to write a 50 000 word novel during the month of November(or more if they are so inclined to). Crazy right? Right. But then, all us writing folk have a little crazy in us that we hide from society on good days. During November, not so much. It’s all about the crazy then.

My bio here says that I’m a huge fan of NaNo so it’s with a sad heart that I write this post today. Because I will not be doing NaNo this year for the simple fact that I have too many completed novels and none of them ready to be thrown into the query trenches. The worst thing I can do now is write a whole new novel to add to that pile. Sometimes I don’t like logical me. Right now I’m doing a last round of revisions on the novel I started during last year’s NaNo which makes this a bitter sweet time for me. What I will be is a NaNo rebel. I might finish the last 25k of the novel I started in 2010 and will finish the 2nd draft of a novel I wrote a few months ago.

But you! You get to do it. If you decided to participate this year, you get to be a part of this madness and I envy you. I’m positively green with it! I’m well aware that NaNo isn’t for everybody. One of my CPs tried it last year and said that the pressure of getting it done was too much. She’s the kind of writer who likes to take time and think as she writes and that makes for a bad partner when it comes to writing 50 000 words in 30 days if you don’t have a system/structure in place. I understand that.

For some reason the NaNo hate was extra obvious last year.  Maybe I shouldn’t say hate, and instead dislike.  I read a few posts where the writer/author/observer was dismissive, deriding, and sometimes disrespectful of those participating. Ugh. I don’t have time for that. BUT! The support was loud enough to drown out a stadium of crazed, soccer-obsessed fans, and that made me smile and think, I’m proud to be one of those crazed fans. I loved seeing all the NaNo posts and updates in my reader whenever I took a few minutes to scan through it.

I love NaNo because it’s a challenge. And if there’s one thing I can’t resist it’s a challenge. I love the community and how extra small the world feels during November. The rush of being on deadline is something I thrive on as well. The abandon with which I get to write, leaving the editing and revising and worrying that there’s more wrong with this story than right for later.

This is a good time to prove to yourself that you don’t need to be inspired to write. Writers write, with or without their muses. It’s as simple as that. If all of us waited for inspiration to strike we’d never get anything done. And if you’re one of those people who’s inspired all the time, I envy you. Hand over what you’re drinking, I want some of that too ;) .

The support is amazing. AMAZING. There are so many other writers attempting this that you will never be alone, especially if you’re part of the Twitter writing community. There’s always somebody willing to kick your behind when you feel like slacking or giving up. It makes a difference.

At the end of the day, if you take a logical approach to writing your novel, it’s definitely doable. Think about it like this. If you do four sprints with a target of 500 words in each sprint, you’ll have about 2k at the end of the night. That’s about 300 words more than the intended 1 777 words you need to write a day. If you’ve plotted your novel, or are a pantser like me but know exactly where your story is headed, this shouldn’t be too difficult. There will be plenty of word wars and writing sprints happening on twitter and facebook, so there really is no excuse for not giving it your best shot.

Even if you don’t finish or hit 50 000 words by the end, you started a new novel. That’s 15 000 words you didn’t have. That’s 23 000 words that you wouldn’t have written. That’s insane and awesome and great and fantastic all at the same time! You are a rock star for even starting! Well done, you.

I’ll just sit here with my puppy eyes and sad smile while everybody else writes with no restraint. I’ll bring you chocolate, coffee, cookies, bacon, and whatever else you need to keep yourself motivated. I love motivating people, so if you need the kick, my right foot is all yours. Just let me know :D

On that note, here are some links to help you out. Some of them are from a few years ago but they still apply:

NaNoWriMo – Should You Join in the Silliness? 9 Reasons to Consider it – Anne R Allen

Maureen Johnson: Your NaNoWriMo Questions Answered.  There are a lot of helpful tips, go have a read.

So who’s doing NaNo? Will you be doing it as a rebel or going full out?
 
9 Comments

Posted by on October 10, 2012 in Deadlines, Motivation, NaNoWriMo, Personal Experience, Support, Writing

 

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Writing in Past Perfect Tense

28 Sep

Naturally occurring iron springs in Telluride, Colorado.

First off, look at the gorgeous picture. I took that a few weeks ago in Telluride, Colorado. It’s naturally occurring iron springs. Stunning.

Okay, now we get into the fun stuff.

Regardless if your book is written in present tense or past tense (also referred to as simple past), there are times in your story when you’ll probably refer to something that has already happened. Sometimes a flashback is necessary to the story. When going into a flashback, or describing something that has already happened in the past, you’ll want to use the past perfect tense.

Well, when/how do you use past perfect?

Believe it or not, there’s a formula for past perfect: (had + past participle = past perfect). I’m not sure about you, but I learn better when I have an example in front of me, so here we go. I’m going to start off in past tense, go into a past perfect to describe something that has already happened, and then transition back to simple past.

Sebastian meowed over and over, trying to get my attention. He either wanted food or love. (Notice this first sentence is in simple past. The reader knows it’s in past tense, all the events that are happening in the story are told in the past.) I’d just graduated from college when I’d made the decision to get my very own cat. I’d always wanted a pound kitty. (Going into a flashback, switch to past perfect. Make sure your reader knows you’re talking about something that has already happened.)

Sebastian picked me as much as I picked him. (Here’s where it gets fun. When you go into past perfect, once you establish that it’s in the past, you switch from past perfect to simple past tense, because the word “had” becomes quite cumbersome, even when used in a contraction. The thing to remember is, when we come out of the flashback, make sure the reader is aware by, and the transition to “now” is clear.) He was such an energetic kitten. He played with my roommate’s cat and loved sitting in my window seat. Now (I’m establishing that the flashback is over, making the transition from past perfect to simple past tense), he’s (notice this is in present tense. That’s because it’s an absolute. Sebastian is still alive and kicking, therefore we use the present tense. I’ll have to do another blog post on absolutes, if you’re interested) fat and lazy, but full of personality. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hopefully that wasn’t too painful, and yes, I do love my animals an absurd amount.

The key to using past perfect is transition. You have to clue your reader in on the timeline. Make sure it’s smooth. This will eliminate confusion, and it allows you to tell more aspects of your story by using things from a character’s past.

If you have any questions, ask away, and I’ll answer in the comments.

Useful links:

This is a great article about writing effective flashbacks.

Visit this page for more past perfect examples.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on September 28, 2012 in Characters, Craft, Critique, Editing, Editing and Proofreading, First Lines, Motivation, Organization, Personal Experience, Point of View, Publishing, Revision, Setting, Theme, Tone, Writing

 

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It Takes a Village

24 Sep

Back when storytelling first began, it took a community to write a tale. One person started it and told it to another, to groups over a fire. It got passed on to friends and family members, generation after generation. Each time the story met new ears, the telling got smoother. Each person augmented it with their own knowledge, improved it with their own experiences. And now, those timeless stories are the flawless fairytales and legends we know today. The ones that still speak to our hearts, even after all this time.

Today, it seems we’re pulling away from that connection and group mentality. We hide our writing lives from our families, we’re cutting out editors and publishers, and getting critiques is such a blow to the ego. We’re holding so tightly to the idea that somehow, the art of writing will be compromised if we allow others to give their input. We fear being “commercialized.”

When I first started writing, I hoarded it. I chicken-pecked it out on my parent’s computer, which I think ran Windows 97, and saved it on a Floppy Disk so they wouldn’t find it on the hard drive. I was terrified that if they found it, they would think I was silly, writing these unbelievable love stories. They’d point out everything wrong with them and I’d never want to write again. But it didn’t matter. They were just for me and my girlfriend to giggle about in class. Nothing more.

As I became an adult and began to write more in-depth stories, I wanted them to reach more people. But when I started to share them with others, their comments quickly taught me that my reality was not the same as others’ reality. My experiences and views were completely valid, but if I wanted more people than my best friend (who grew up in the same neighborhood I did) to relate, I had to open myself up to understanding other people’s realities and experiences and knowledge. I had to embrace the fact that writing a great story–one that would last through the generations–wasn’t just about me and my own thoughts.

I joked with my critique partners a couple of weeks ago that I would have to put their names on the cover of my novel next to mine, and while I doubt they or my future publisher would feel it necessary, I did mean it. They add more to my story than they will ever know. Every week we get together and tear our stories apart. Yes, willingly. I love nothing more than seeing them as deep into it as I am. I’m filled with such hope for my novel when they have conversations about my characters that don’t even include me, and then tell me how they think it should end. I have an outline but I always take their thoughts into account and, more often than not, I do make changes based on their suggestions. Not because I’m not an artist that values her own work, but because I’m an artist that values her own work…all ego aside.

As our culture becomes more isolated by the decade, I think it’s even more important to have a community for your story. Not just people cheering you one to get it written, but people who believe in your story, people who put pieces of themselves into it. I think that’s what makes stories whole. What creates a writer is the desire to change someone’s mind with our words. Maybe even change the world. How else can we do that if we don’t understand the struggles of the people we’re talking to, or let them have a say?

I won’t lie and say I don’t feel nervous every Wednesday night when I send my work to my critique partners. Who knows where it might lead? But come Saturday morning, after we’ve spent time hashing it out, talking about everything we know to be true, agreeing, disagreeing, laughing, falling in love with each other’s characters, hating each other’s characters, and scaring the poor people that work at Starbucks…that’s when I feel like my story has finally come to life.

Because my story is my baby. And everyone who loves it, and challenges it, and helps it grow, is my village. It takes all of them.

Photo by McKay Savage

 
7 Comments

Posted by on September 24, 2012 in Critique, Critique Groups, Critique Partners, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Experience, Publishing, Social Media, Subjectivity, Support, Writer Relationship

 

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You’re doing it right!

12 Sep

Hey everybody.

It feels like it’s been ages since I asked how you’re all doing. How are you? Really?

I don’t know how many new writers we have as part of our community, but I feel that what I want to talk about applies more to you guys, or those trying out new genres and new territory in you writing.

This month we’re taking it back to basics, which had me reminiscing about when I’d first started my writing journey. One of the things that stand out the most when I think about when I first started writing is a pretty simple question, and the feelings that went it.

Am I doing it right?

It’s such an inconsequential question but it carries so much weight, mostly with myself. Tell me I’m not the only one.

I carried this question with me while I wrote my first novel, and I’ll admit that it put a bit of a damper on the wonderful experience of putting my very first story down in words. I kept on worrying that I was doing it wrong, don’t ask me in what way, I still don’t know. But I worried about it. I’d spend hours at night staring at the ceiling thinking about it while I tried to fall asleep.

A few weeks ago I thought about this question again when I decided to write a genre that I’m not as familiar with as I’d like to be. As I spun my new story, this question poking around the back of my head, I took a moment and answered it.

Am I doing it right?

Yes, I am doing it right.

Why?

Because I’m doing it my way.

It’s strange what a difference the realization made. It’s relief and joy and stupid grinning and motivating and all the other wonderful things that go with answering a question that’s been bugging you for years.

This is stepping away from that comfort zone you’ve made your home and trying something new. Even if you do it wrong(which you’re not), you still did it. How can that be anything but right?

 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 12, 2012 in Personal Experience, Point of View, rejection, Uncategorized, Writing

 

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We Don’t See Our Own Writing

10 Sep

Writer envy. Yep. I recently discovered Barbara Freethy and experienced a serious case of it. How does she write such flawless story? How does she keep consistent tone? I’m reading The Goddesses of Kitchen Avenue by Barbara Samuel right now and I am in awe by how mature and experienced her writing is. Why can’t I seem to create such diverse characters with such detailed backgrounds?

During a meeting last month with my lovely writing partners, we sat around having this exact conversation.

You are so great at world building! I don’t know how you do it. I could never invent such realistic places like that.

But you have such a fun tone. Every time I try to be funny, it feels so fake.

But you are great at layering your story so that all this foreshadowing comes back around at the end. How do you do that?

No, we did not have a group hug.

As much as we do love each other’s writing, what was really happening was a little bit of writer envy all around. The funniest part is that as these compliments were flying around, the person receiving them usually responded with, “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is just how I write.”

I don’t know about you, but often when I write, it feels so simple. I’ve experienced these things a million times. Nothing truly invented here, just rearranged and placed for optimum impact. Wait, didn’t I use that scenario in another story I wrote. Crap. Better take it out just in case and start over. Grab the thesaurus! I think I used “attended” five times on the same page.

What a mess.

Send it to the writing partners to see if there is anything salvageable. They’ll know how to fix it. They are so much better at writing then me. Drag my feet into the coffee shop and wait for the firing squad.

And then…

You are so great at world building! I don’t know how you do it. I could never invent such realistic places like that.

But you have such a fun tone. Every time I try to be funny, it feels so fake.

But you are great at layering your story so that all this foreshadowing comes back around at the end. How do you do that?

Laugh. Really? I thought you were going to hate it.

Because we don’t see our own writing. We don’t think what we have to say is unique. We don’t think our style or voice or story is different than the same stuff we’ve all read a million times. But it is.

All those things we’ve experienced that seem like old news to us are unbelievable to others. The voice that just comes out and sounds like everything else we’ve ever written is different than the voice of every other writer out there. The style that we don’t even think we have is born of years of cultivating until it is so natural it’s like breathing.

Just like when we look in the mirror, we’re so busy focusing on our flaws, we look right past the little points of beauty…so we do with our writing. But what seems mundane to us, is perfection to someone who doesn’t know how to do what we do.

Let’s prove it–what compliment do you receive most about your writing?

Photo by Evil Erin

 
19 Comments

Posted by on September 10, 2012 in Critique Groups, Critique Partners, Inspiration, originality, Personal Experience

 

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Cursing the Blank Page

29 Aug

The cursor winks, mocking me as it looms above the blank page.

“Come on. Do it. Write something.”

Dark and evil it blinks, a beacon of my own inadequacy, each beat a challenge.

“I dare you.”

Fear grips me, anger too.  My mind is blank. I wipe sweat from my forehead with a sleeve. I take a sip of water, to ease the dryness in my mouth. Ideas swirl through my thoughts, I grab at them, one by one examining them in my mind, then throw each back into the ether. None of them are good enough. None of them worthy of the demands of that damned cursor. I curse. Damn you. I look at the clock. 12:20 pm. Time and the cursor are in cahoots with their taunts.

I have deadlines! All I really want to do is give the cursor the finger, escape into a game of Skyrim, and devour a bar of chocolate.

“Quitter.” The cursor sneers.

Heat rises in my cheeks. I grit my teeth. I am not a quitter.

There’s only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that’s if we quit.–Craig Breedlove

The cursor stares at me, shocked.

Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I start to write.

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until have accomplished a purpose – not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember.–Anne Sullivan

Word by word.

Other people and things can stop you temporarily. You’re the only one who can do it permanently. –Zig Ziglar

I will not let the blank page, that blinking cursor, win.

All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail. That is the talisman, the formula, the command of right about-face which turns us from failure to success.–Dorthea Brande

Act as if it were impossible to fail, act as if it were impossible to fail, act as if it were impossible to fail…the mantra for today. The thing that’s getting me through this blank page is the encouragement found in the words and the works of others. It’s the friends that I’ve made online, the support from my peers and family and the belief that I have a calling. This passion for the written word isn’t for naught. There is poetry in my soul aching to be released. I must learn to trust it. I grab onto that idea. I hold it close and let it feed me the determination to never give up, to act as if it were impossible to fail. I open myself up and let the words pour onto the page, without fear, without limits. What is there to lose?

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.–Beverly Sills

What talisman or formula do you use to break the inertia and frustration of the blank page? I would love to hear your thoughts. Keep writing, all! Harness the poetry and the passion in your soul and never give up.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on August 29, 2012 in Deadlines, Editing, Motivation, Personal Experience, Support, Writing

 

Letting the Story Lead

27 Aug

In this age we live in, productivity is the name of the game. We take hold of our stories by the balls and get them written now, get them written right, and get them out the door. I don’t know about you, but to me, this is intimidating. I read blogs all the time about authors who write several books a year when I can barely finish one over two years. When writing that quickly, there seems to be so little time to let the story grow organically and instead, we push out the words and get from Point A to Point B in the shortest amount of time possible (in the storyline and on our career timeline) whether our characters like it or not.

I’ve tried to do this. It’s not working for me.

The novel I’m rewriting now is the one I started during National Novel Writing Month of 2010. As usual, I started with an idea and an outline. I had a timeline of when I would finish and a Chris Baty-imposed deadline.

I wrote that first draft like a champ. And then I got stuck.

Because unlike the seasoned authors I read about, my first drafts are junk.

But I’m okay with that.

See, I don’t feel like I truly know my story and my characters until I’ve written the first draft. Sometimes, not even then. In this case, the first draft taught me that I didn’t know my characters and, by extension my story, at all. The inconsistency of my MC’s choices and actions proved it. I didn’t know how to fix it. I tried to push through the pain for the sake of my timeline but eventually I had to set it aside, had to stop forcing it. But I knew this was “the book” for me–the one that will get published–so it was always in the back of my mind.

Every once in a while, over the year or so that I let it sit, I did some character building exercises or some brainstorming with a friend, waiting for the “click” to happen. I so desperately wanted to get writing again but the last thing I wanted to do was write another trash draft. I wrote various outlines on the nights I felt inspired but ended up tucking them away again because it just didn’t feel right.

A couple of months ago, after a bout of familial chaos, my life returned to normal and I knew I had to pull it out and face it for real this time, regardless of how I felt about my mess of ideas. With all of them swirling in my mind, I just began to write without much knowledge of where it would lead. I was interested to find that much of it stayed the same, save a change of location here or minor character there. Yet, after all the subconscious simmering I’d done, I was surprised at how much had changed. The little details about their backgrounds and how they carried themselves and how they reacted to things finally made them feel real. And through those changes, the new story began to emerge.

And this is when the panic set it.

But my outline! But my timeline!

I pulled out some of my old outlines to try to force my story back into the can I had originally opened and laughed when this “new” idea I had was the same as one of my previous outlines. Clearly my characters were trying to tell me something I hadn’t previously been prepared to listen to. They were trying to tell me the real essence of my story…whether I liked it or not.

I called my brainstorming buddy just before midnight saying, “I’m having a writer identity crisis. Can I do this?” The story was so much more dramatic and so much darker than I originally intended to be but no matter what I did, I couldn’t turn my mind back. It was like the story had rolled itself out before me–a single path that I had to follow to the end.

So I closed my eyes and took the first step.

Maybe many authors, especially seasoned ones, listen to their characters better than I do (it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been accused of being stubborn or having a one-track mind *cough*Taurus*cough*), but I wonder if there are some authors out there so focused on getting the book written that they forget to take the time to listen to those quiet voices of their characters as they point the way.

I wonder if I would have missed the opportunity to write a truer story if I had only been looking at my timeline…if I hadn’t stopped trying to lead.

Photo by woodleywonderworks

 
11 Comments

Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Characters, Craft, Editing, Inspiration, NaNoWriMo, Personal Experience, Revision, Writing

 

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Training Tools – Websites for Creativity

24 Aug

El grito de la gaviota – Seagull Scream by Dani_vr on Flickr

I’ve wanted to use that image since I first saw it. Not sure how it applies to today’s post, but hopefully it made you smile :)

I’m coming off my post-Olympic high. I miss coming home and watching elite athletes fulfill their dreams. I don’t know about you, but I found it inspiring. It gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling in my core. Those people worked hard, sacrificed, trained, and look where it got them. Writers aren’t that different. We have to go through a lot of the same things (but with more wine and chocolate and less laps and pushups).

Our minds are constantly being pushed, our imaginations stretched. We’re honing our craft. If you’re like me, you’ve pretty much given up sleep. Learning, we’re always learning. And what is this ”free time” you speak of? Yet we do it because we love it. We have goals and dreams, and we won’t stop until we make it.

What does all this have to do with creativity? Well, as writers, creativity is kind of important to the whole process. I have a bookmarks folder titled, “Websites for Creativity,” and I thought I’d pass along some of my favorites. Think of them as training tools. (There, I totally tied this back to the Olympics ;) Sneaky, right?)

Critters is a part of Critique.org but for horror (here’s looking at you, Brian), fantasy, and sci-fi writers. How awesome is that? It can be hard to find critique partners for genre fiction; thankfully critters helps writers connect.

Creativity Portal - If you want to read articles about creativity, and I do this sometimes to better understand the creativity process, then creativity portal is a good resource.

Easy Street Prompts - Like writing prompts? Check this one out.

Six Sentences - This website invites you to tell a story in six sentences. Kind of interesting.

Plot Scenario Generator - This is one of my new favorites. The whole website is really good.

Five Free College Level Writing & Lit Videos - Who says you have to pay to learn?

InkPageant - A collection of blog posts for writers.

80 Journal Writing Prompts - I’m a sucker for journaling and writing prompts. What more could I want?

That should be enough to keep you busy for a while. What about you? What are some of your go-to sites for creativity?

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 24, 2012 in Characters, Craft, Critique, Critique Groups, Critique Partners, Editing, Emotion, Inspiration, Just For Fun, Motivation, originality, Personal Experience, Publishing, Setting, Support, Theme, Tone, Writer Relationship, Writing

 

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The Small Things

22 Aug

Image by Jenny Kaczorowski

As much as I love the plots, premises, arcs, and over-all storyline of whatever novel I’m reading, be it published or unpublished, there’s something I love just as much. The smaller details of a story.

What I mean by this is all the little things you as a writer add to your story to give it more personality. When we talk about fleshing out a novel, this is one of the things I think about, but these little things are also what give your story character and personality. It’s your novel’s freckles, the torn jeans it wears, the tiny house it shares with its too big family, and the kind of movies it likes. You know, the little things.

Sometimes it’s the smaller things that make me love a novel that much more.

You guys know I like being interactive and learning about all of you at the same time. So last week I tweeted and asked if one or two of my follower would want to help me out with this week’s post. What I asked them is to give me five things they like about their novel. But I wanted the small things because this is not about promoting a novel, this is just about sharing what you love with somebody else and what makes your story that little bit more special to you.

Below are the fantastic answers from people you know and some you don’t. Some of these writes will be published next year, some of them are in the middle of querying, one or two are still working on their novels.

After reading these wonderful reasons, leave us a comment and give us five random reasons you love your novel. I would love to learn more about you and what you’re writing.

Tonia:
- My MC wears purple Converse sneakers with her prom dress.
- She still makes wishes on dandelions.
- There’s a poster for Wicked, The Musical on my MCs bedroom wall.
- Writing the mother/daughter scenes were the hardest. They broke my heart a little, but the book wouldn’t be the same without them.
- I loved writing my version of the afterlife.

Cait:
- It’s my first attempt at contemporary
- I love that Evan rides a classic motorcycle (I’ve always wanted to learn to ride).
- Writing a strong, sexy girl like Ginny has been a blast. It’s been even more fun to make her a lot more broken than she appears.
- Setting it in SC. I love the East Coast, and the South in particular. Having it on the beach and getting to mess around with the local history has been amazing.
- Retelling a classic was SO much more difficult than I ever expected, and way more exciting.

Carla:
- The MC and her family used to perform in an exotic circus similar to the Cirque du Soleil.
- When the MC captures an escaped lab rat in her room, she names him Ratticus, because “To Kill a Mockingbird” is one of her favorite books.
- The MC’s love interest works in his mom’s cafe and tries to win over the MC by offering to make her a chocolate cheesecake.
- While trying to hide from security, the MC and her love interest are forced to hide in a tiny shower stall and use it as an excuse to flirt with each other.
- The last line of the book is one of my favorites: “Nope. It’s just a really big cockroach.”

Juliana:
- The damsel-in-distress scene: but here the one in distress is the hero and the one doing the saving is the heroine ;)
- My heroine has a ninja bike!
- The hero’s brother keeps hitting on the heroine right in front of the hero. It’s always funny.
- The fair scene: the hero takes the heroine dancing and she doesn’t know how to dance (she’s from another realm). He laughs because she’s a fierce warrior and kicks ass when it comes to fighting, but she can’t coordinate her feet and legs and arms when dancing (what he doesn’t know is that she’s nervous about being so close to him!).
- The heroine lost her older brothers and has a younger one that hates her. The hero also has a younger brother and they are always bickering. Without realizing, the heroine wants to fix the hero and his brother’s relationship.

Heather:
- PDN Is told in dual point of view. I loved listening to both Aaron and Quinn while writing. It was fun getting different insights from both MC’s
- Marcus. He’s Aaron’s best friend and a supporting character, but I LOVE him. His voice came to me out of the blue and he makes me laugh out loud. With such a strong personality, sometimes it was hard to keep him from taking over a scene.
- Quinn’s decent into madness. Is she crazy? Are the demons that torment her real or figments of her imagination? As her nightmares slowly bleed into reality, she begins to question everything, even herself.
- *evil laugh* I put Quinn through so much in this book to see what she would do. I’m not one of those writers who has trouble putting their MC in peril. I know there must have been moments when she was like. “Hey! Can you cut me a break? Seriously?”
- Writing the creepy, dark, scary scenes.  I’m not allowed to go into any detail right now, but I managed to scare myself silly one night writing a particular scene near the end. Creeptastic!

Go on. Share with us what you like about your story. Can’t wait to read your things.

 
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Posted by on August 22, 2012 in Characters, Emotion, Inspiration, Just For Fun, Personal Experience, Point of View, Uncategorized, Writing

 

A Gift of Grief

20 Aug

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” – C.S. Lewis

“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses. ” -Colette

I’m writing this early. Usually, I’m up late the night before my post is due, frantically writing. But not this time. I don’t know what life is bringing this week. My life will be changing, along with that of my family. Things can go one of two ways, but regardless of the outcome, life will never be the same. I know you have no idea what I’m talking about and that’s okay.

Right now I’m dealing with the anticipation of grief, which is a form of grief in itself. My father is extremely ill. This week there will be one of two outcomes, he lives or he dies. That’s it. Two options and no in between. I guess the same could be said for all of us. We live or we die. However, we don’t typically think of our mortality in such a blunt manner.

People offer advice as a means of consoling. I’m being kind when I say offer, because it’s not something I can give back or turn down. I wish I could. I had someone tell me that I’m lucky I’ve had as much time with my dad as I’ve had, because some people never get that much. So I’m supposed to feel selfish for not wanting my dad to die? In the back of my mind I know it’s not meant that way, but my emotions are so raw right now. I know people mean well, but words are powerful. Another favorite of mine is when people tell me to take it one day at a time. How does one do that exactly? Everyday I watch him fade further away. He’s in horrific pain and there’s nothing I can do about it. Yes. Every single day is imprinted in my brain in excruciating clarity.

I’m a writer and more than likely, if you’re reading this, you are too. We should know how to express grief. We should be able to write with compassion and make grief pause, even for just a brief moment. But we’re human and grief is a subject that makes most people uncomfortable. So, let me help a little. The smartest writers and non-writers I know use two very simple words, “I’m sorry.” They don’t give advice or wax poetic. They acknowledge the hurt without resorting to cliches.

If you’ve ever written a scene of grief, I want you to take a look at it. I’m not an expert, but I want to share with you some of the thoughts and feelings I’m having right now. Here are a few in no particular order:

I can’t concentrate on anything. I try to read, but I stare at a page or the computer screen and have no clue what the arrangement of words is trying to convey. I’ve read about writers who use their emotions to their advantage and write amazing things. I can’t seem to do that. Every word is a chore. Every idea takes too long to process. Then I start worrying that this means I’m not a good enough writer, which starts the cycle all over again.

I’m confused. Everyone knows their parents get old, but less than a year ago, my dad was fine. Now he’s sleeping in a hospital bed, has to use a walker and is having trouble with his motor skills. Tonight, I watched him fall because I couldn’t get to him fast enough when his walker tipped over. Luckily, he fell back into his chair and didn’t get hurt. My mind can’t seem to reconcile my dad as an old man who needs help to stand. When did it come to this? He’s 62.

I feel guilt. I watch my mom, who has health problems of her own, take care of my dad with love and patience. This is affecting her health now. I should have been more successful in life and career. I should be able to take care of them completely, but I can’t and that slays me.

I’m overwhelmed. I hardly sleep through the night anymore, just as when my son was a baby. Only now, I listen for my dad. I let my mom sleep through the night and I stay awake, listening and waiting. When I do get to sleep it’s not restful because I’m always listening for my mom to cry my name when she goes to check on him. It scares me, but at the same time, I don’t want him to suffer anymore.

I’m nervous. If I deviate too much from the relationship I’ve had with my dad, will it make him suspicious? Instead, I try to keep cool and do what needs to be done without making him ask. I don’t want to embarrass him or make him self-conscious.

I hurt and am afraid. I won’t tell you how many times I’ve broken down while writing this. Seeing the man I’ve grown up with, always in awe of his strength and ability, reduced to a man barely able to stand on his own – it hurts in a place so deep. I can’t tell you what it’s like to think of a world without him. It takes my breath away.

I’m irritable. How dare life go on for everyone else when mine is falling apart? Irrational, I know. Life keeps going whether we’re a part of it or not.

I hope this helps you in some way. Write grief as true as you can. Don’t gloss over it, it’s insulting. Without going through the process of dying yourself, to lose someone or watch them fade is as close to feeling mortality as you can get. Write it.

Update: He made it through surgery :)

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/walkn/2444686830/sizes/m/in/photostream/

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2012 in Craft, Emotion, Personal Experience, Writing

 

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