Have you ever finished writing a manuscript, and after months of blood, sweat, and tears, you realize that even after all that work, your story doesn’t look at all like you imagined it in your head? In fact, after a second glance, you’re sure a toddler temporarily overtook your brain and scribbled 400 pages of crayon doodles? Of course you have…you’re a writer. You’ve probably felt that way about everything you’ve ever written…like I have.
Up until this point in my writing “career,” that hasn’t mattered much. Mostly my readers have been friends and writing groups. I post fiction online too but even in that venue, readers are generally pretty forgiving. Not so with publishing industry professionals. There is very little room for mistakes and if you make them, they better be small. Tiny. Miniscule. Talk about pressure.
Getting in the (Publishing) Game
Over the next couple of weeks I’m preparing for my first writing contest ever. I’m talking the big deal with two rounds, multiple judges, announcement of the finalists at the next conference, and the final round judged by editors of major publishing houses. Yeah…that kind of scary.
It’s an exciting adventure to be sure, a thrill to imagine where it could lead. The final judge for my category is an editor at Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. Never before has every word, every period, and every character of my manuscript been under such scrutiny. Sometimes the anxiety to get it all right leaves me panic stricken. I only get one chance to put my best work in front of this woman who could potentially be my gateway into the holy land.
Previously, I’ve never had a reason to get this far into the process of editing. I guess I always imagined entering the chaos of the publishing world as something that would happen way down the road. Like, way down. I’ve taken my time, learning more about this, fiddling with that, but after five years of writing, getting critiqued, editing, and dreaming, it’s time to dive in, sink or swim. So despite my fear, I’m going through the first 20 pages of my manuscript with a fine-toothed comb. I’ve re-understood my characters, re-worked motivations, re-invented the details, and rewritten this novel so many times that I have more loose ends than the hem of grandma’s skirt.
Upping the Ante
Before I started this final-for-now edit, I had a long brainstorming session with my writing partners and nailed down what was working and what wasn’t, for better or worse. The time for flip-flopping has come and gone. And now, with that focus in mind, I’m sifting out the dirt and looking for the gems. And you know what? They are there. Actually, never before have they shined brighter. And I don’t think anything less than the pressure to perform at my best would have gotten me here.
I’m the ultimate perfectionist at heart, especially when it comes to my writing. I think every artist is that way. But putting myself in this position has taught me that I know more than I ever realized about who I am as a writer, what I want to bring to this ever expanding sea of literature, what my writing voice sounds like, what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it, and what process works best for me. The deadline and the stakes have forced me to stopped questioning myself and realize the truths that were already there, clouded by the uncertainty an unlimited time frame allows.
Get Out There
Do it. I know you’re scared. I know you don’t think you’re ready. Guess what–just like getting married and having kids–you’re never going to be ready. You learn as you go. Underneath all those scribbles is your story, and as soon as you trust yourself enough to find it, you will. Make the decision. Raise the stakes. And watch yourself rise to the occasion.
What’s holding you back from taking the next step? Or, what deadlines are you working toward? What steps have you taken that have forced you to grow as a writer?
Courtney Koschel has been writing since she could hold a crayon. She has worked as a journalist, editor, technical writer, and technical editor. Young adult fiction is near and dear to her heart, which is why she writes YA and all of its glorious sub-genres.
Tonia Marie Houston is a mother, writer, poet, bookworm, and blogger. When sheís not chasing her three spider monkeys, she spends her time revising a young adult novel about life after death and second chances. Though she began to pursue her career later in life, she hopes to inspire and motivate other writers to put their best book forward.
This native Texan now lives with her Scottish hubby in North Ayrshire, Scotland, where she wanders the moors in search of William Wallace. She has been a guest blogger on Writer Unboxed and is currently working on the sequel to her YA supernatural novel, Touched by Darkness.
Jamie Raintree writes what she likes to call everyday fairytale love stories, featuring the little moments in life that are truly magical. She lives in Arizona with her husband and daughter and is currently editing her second novel.
Jani Grey is a South African ambivert, writer, reader, optimist, and bacon enthusiast. When her boss isnít looking she writes, revises, or edits YA Urban Fantasies in between work. Sheís sneaky like that. Sheís a NaNoWriMo addict and is currently working on two NaNo novels.
Rebecca Fields is a modern gypsy, roaming from place to place in search of ñ well, sheíll let you know when she finds it. Writing has become a way for her to share her adventures, both real and imagined. Along with her on her journey are her son and an assortment of rescued animals.
Celia
January 28, 2013 at 12:12 am
Good luck with the contest! Take a deeeeeep breath, you’ll be great
Jamie Raintree
January 28, 2013 at 12:35 am
I’m breathing… Lol! Thank you!
Amy Freeman
January 28, 2013 at 1:28 am
This is so true. You just have to jump in with both feet! do as much as you can for your book. Take chances, say yes, get out there!
Jamie Raintree
January 28, 2013 at 10:20 am
Here, here! Let’s do it, lady!
Connie Cockrell
January 28, 2013 at 6:04 am
Go Jaime, Go!
Jamie Raintree
January 28, 2013 at 10:21 am
Thank you! Sounds like you’re right on my heels!
bwtaylor75
January 28, 2013 at 7:03 am
The search for perfection can hold you back too. We can spend all our lives searching and trying, but none of us will ever be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. We must trust that if we do our best, everything will work out. At least that’s what I do. I don’t want to be perfect, but I don’t want to settle for anything less than my best either. A fine line, I know.
As far as forcing myself to grow, I don’t believe in forcing change. I seek it out. When something about my writing bothers me I immerse myself in that topic. I want to learn and grow. I want to understand how to write better within my style. I hope that makes sense. Nothing feels better than the moment when the lightbulb clicks on.
Your first question says it all, “What’s holding you back from taking the next step?” Nine times out of ten, it’s us. If we can find a way to be at peace with ourselves, we’ll be at peace with the world. Most of the hurdles in our path were put there by us. Why? Let go of the anxiety, nerves, doubt, and negativity. No one is perfect. Stop trying to be. Be the best you can be and realize you’re good enough. There is no other voice like yours in the world. Each one of us is one of a kind, unique. That is an amazing thing if you stop and think about it.
I’d wish you luck with the contest, but I don’t think you need it. It seems like you’re ready. I’ll wish you good fortune instead.
Jamie Raintree
January 28, 2013 at 10:33 am
Thank you! I agree, there is a fine line between expecting the best and expecting perfection. Sounds like you’re on the right side of it. Luckily for me and my perfectionist tendencies is I wear myself out at some point and have to just stop. Lol! That and I have awesome critique partners who rip the pages from my fingers and say, “Enough is enough!”
I got the official approval from the aforementioned partners so I feel as ready as I ever will and I get more excited by the day.
Lastly, as a reader, I applaud your dedication to excellence.
Vaughn Roycroft
January 28, 2013 at 7:15 am
I’m out there, literally at this moment. Exposed. Waiting and shaking. I have two industry people I greatly respect reading my work (well, perhaps not ‘literally’ at this moment). Here’s a cautionary tale for you, Jamie. Being the hoplessly insecure writer I am, I am losing what little faith I had at the onset. The glimmers of the diamonds I found before hitting send have all faded. Now, if I dare to open the doc, all I see is the coal smudges I neglected to shine away. Don’t let this happen to you. Once you hit send, move on. Occupy yourself with the next project. Do not open the ‘sent’ doc.
Good for you for putting yourself out there. Best of luck!
Jamie Raintree
January 28, 2013 at 10:36 am
Thanks, Vaughn. I hope you will do the same! Even writing some short pieces can be a good distraction. And, hey, there’s nothing like a little fear to remind us we’re alive, right?
Lara Schiffbauer
January 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm
Good luck to you with your entry. I totally agree that we have to be willing to take the risk in order to move forward. It takes courage to risk yourself and you can be proud just for that!
Jamie Raintree
January 28, 2013 at 11:04 pm
Thank you, Lara!
Tonia Marie Houston
January 29, 2013 at 3:58 pm
I’ve long admired your guts and tenacity. Not only do you set the stakes high for yourself, but you ask the same of writers you befriend and inspire. Thank you for that.
Me? I’m editing, and this seems to require me to push myself in different ways- not a bad thing at all. I’ll come to you for moral support when it’s submissions time.
You rock, as always.
Jamie Raintree
January 29, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Thank you, Tonia. That means more to me than I can say, especially from you.
I’m glad to hear the editing is going well and I am happy to be your cheerleader anytime!
Amy Freeman
January 29, 2013 at 11:59 pm
So proud of you, girl. After five years, you deserve to get into “the Holy Land”! BEST of luck!!
Jamie Raintree
January 30, 2013 at 12:05 am
Thank you, Sweetie!!