Starsby *Gwathiell
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
― William Shakespeare
My love of words started like most writers I know. It started with a story. In this case, the stories came from the imagination of my great-aunt, Delia. She weaved magical tales to send me to sleep. She wasn’t a writer, she never wrote any of her stories on paper, and she read to me too, but I loved her stories best. Neither of us knew she was giving me the greatest gift of all, the gift of storytelling. I wish she were alive to see the impact she had on me and I often wonder what she would think about me being a published author.
In truth, I think my family knew I was going to grow up to be a writer before I did. I’m lucky, really. A lot of writers talk about how their friends and family would roll their eyes and tell them to stop dreaming, to think about getting a real job. In my family, dreaming was encouraged. I guess, in that way, it helped having an artist for a mother, someone who understood and promoted creativity. I have to thank my dad too, though. His scientific nature taught me to ask questions, instilled the value of hard work, and although he supported my creative side, he often reminded me that dreams wouldn’t make themselves and that you had to work to achieve your goals.
I remember at the age of four writing my first picture book. My mother still has it. I bound it with staples and my mother helped me draw the pictures and spell the words I didn’t know how to spell myself. My grandfather would buy me books and even bought me a subscription to writer’s digest. Let me be clear that they never pushed me to write, but their subtle acts of encouragement built my confidence. The fact that my family took the time to recognize a natural passion and talent in me is something I will always be grateful for.
Our house was always filled with books. We were readers, spending countless hours in libraries and bookstores devouring stories. At the age of eleven I started my first novel. (No, you can’t read it. It’s buried in a deep dark hole somewhere in the Tasmanian Outback and guarded by a three-headed dingo.) I told my parents I wanted to be published by the age of sixteen. I also told them I wanted to be Wonder Woman, a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, and an archaeologist. Those dreams faded. I never did get that invisible jet, and a new dream emerged. I was going to be an actress. I studied theatre and music from an early age and went on to major in Musical Theatre with the dream of moving to London and performing on a West End stage. I never stopped writing, but it became a hobby, a private way of dealing with stress but not something I thought of ever publishing. That dream had faded along with the rest.
Then something happened. My junior year of college, I became ill and started suffering fatigue, headaches, and dizziness. I became depressed. I slept all day, missed classes, and was put on probation. I suffered from shingles and anxiety attacks and managed to catch every virus and bug I came in contact with. Everything I touched turned to ash. The confident, carefree, fun loving girl was gone and an empty shell took her place. My mind was poisoned with dark thoughts. I decided to leave school and move home. I was treated for depression but that wasn’t the root cause. After two years of tests I was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism. One little pill a day changed my life and slowly brought me back to myself physically, but my mind had been damaged, my confidence shot, and my goals devoured.
During those years of illness and depression, writing became my lifeline. I threw myself into other worlds, using stories as a cathartic tool. The idea for Pretty Dark Nothing was born from those dark days. As I helped Quinn battled her demons, she helped me learn to battle mine and it was in that moment that I knew everything happens for a reason. My path wasn’t the stage, it was the written page. My focus changed and I threw myself wholly into my true passion, the one I had been denying for years, and never looked back. I am a writer. I can’t deny the very core of what makes me who I am. I’m blessed to have achieved my goal for publication, but for me, writing isn’t really about a book deal. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be a published author and to be able to make a living doing what I love, but at the core, writing is not about making money. It’s about the foundation of my soul, my life blood. I write because I can’t imagine a life without it, it’s my chosen destiny.
What about you? Can you imagine life without writing? Have you dreamed of being something other than a writer? Do you think destiny is something you choose or is your path written in the stars?
Courtney Koschel has been writing since she could hold a crayon. She has worked as a journalist, editor, technical writer, and technical editor. Young adult fiction is near and dear to her heart, which is why she writes YA and all of its glorious sub-genres.
Tonia Marie Houston is a mother, writer, poet, bookworm, and blogger. When sheís not chasing her three spider monkeys, she spends her time revising a young adult novel about life after death and second chances. Though she began to pursue her career later in life, she hopes to inspire and motivate other writers to put their best book forward.
This native Texan now lives with her Scottish hubby in North Ayrshire, Scotland, where she wanders the moors in search of William Wallace. She has been a guest blogger on Writer Unboxed and is currently working on the sequel to her YA supernatural novel, Touched by Darkness.
Jamie Raintree writes what she likes to call everyday fairytale love stories, featuring the little moments in life that are truly magical. She lives in Arizona with her husband and daughter and is currently editing her second novel.
Jani Grey is a South African ambivert, writer, reader, optimist, and bacon enthusiast. When her boss isnít looking she writes, revises, or edits YA Urban Fantasies in between work. Sheís sneaky like that. Sheís a NaNoWriMo addict and is currently working on two NaNo novels.
Rebecca Fields is a modern gypsy, roaming from place to place in search of ñ well, sheíll let you know when she finds it. Writing has become a way for her to share her adventures, both real and imagined. Along with her on her journey are her son and an assortment of rescued animals.
Tonia Marie Houston
July 18, 2012 at 7:14 am
I am so proud of you; your story inspires and encourages. I can’t remember when I wanted to be anything but a writer. For a long time, I planned to move to San Fransisco and attend college there. But I lost my way for a long time. I never stopped writing, but what I wanted had to wait in line behind children, messy relationships, and my own ongoing battle with depression.
I believe we make our own destinies, as Shakespeare said. But, I also believe everything happens for a reason and we’re all part of something bigger. My blessings, my support system, has always been my friends. And I am so happy to count you among them, my soul sister.
Here’s to dreams coming true and kindred spirits to share the journey with. Cheers.
Heather Reid
July 18, 2012 at 8:02 am
Thank you for being there for me. Sometimes life doesn’t take you in the direction you planned. There is a time and place for everything. I’m glad you fought your way out of the darkest days and found your way back to writing, too.
I agree that we do make our own destinies, but like you, I also beleive there is something bigger that guides us. Writing feels right and although I’ve chosen it, I also know it’s where I’m meant to be.
Love you, soul sister! I’m so glad we’re on this journey together.
vaughnroycroft
July 18, 2012 at 7:51 am
It’s an interesting question–choice vs. destiny or fate. As you probably know, it’s one of the core themes of my trilogy. More specifically, how we respond when others tell you your life is fated. You are lucky, that you had such a supportive environment growing up. I spent a lot of years ‘not writing’ because of expectations I put on myself that were instilled by environment.
In every good story there is a bump in the road–a hardship to be overcome–before the hero can find their true quest. I’m sorry about the hard times you endured, but I’m happy that you emerged from the fire with a keener edge.
Thanks for sharing a really a wonderful read and an inspirational story, my friend.
kimbullock
July 19, 2012 at 8:04 am
I hear you, Vaughn. I spent about five years not writing because I was convinced I needed to be practical. Worst five years of my life!
bwtaylor75
July 18, 2012 at 8:02 am
“It’s buried in a deep dark hole somewhere in the Tasmanian Outback and guarded by a three-headed dingo.” Well, I guess I’m off to the Tasmanian Outback. Somebody has to te get that book, and I’m not afraid of any dingo, three headed or not!
I believe there are many paths to where we need to be. We don’t always take the best, or most logical route, but in the end we always end up right where we belong. Maybe it’s just the need for hope talking, or a touch of the crazy, but deep down that’s what I believe. So I guess, I’m with Tonia in that regard.
We keep hearing these are troubled time for traditional publishing, yet we persevere, even in the face of uncertaintly. Why? It’s that fire, that passion, to not only tell a story, but to share a new world, with new characters, and ultimately a piece of ourselves with the world. You definitely have that passion, Heather, and it shows in all you do. You also have a kind heart for helping others, like me, along on their journey. I would not be where I am if I hadn’t stumbled onto your post offering query help. You could say I was in the right place, at the right time, or you could say it was something else. I’d like to believe it was a little bit of both. And you inspired me to try and pay it forward too. That, my friend, is the measure of a remarkable person. Don’t change.
And that goes for the rest of the founding ladies too. I’m walking proof that what you do here on this blog matters, and has positively affected at least one other person. Keep doing what you do and don’t change. Who knows when the next writer will stumble through the door and find their life forever changed. Hey Tonia, how’s that for validation?
Heather Reid
July 18, 2012 at 8:18 am
Brian, thank you! I agree that life is a little bit of both and am so grateful you stumbled onto our blog, be it by fate or something else. Our little community wouldn’t be the same without you. Your openness and honesty inspire me and I consider you part of the hugs and chocolate family.
I’m a big believer in paying it forward. So many people have helped me along the way and it’s my duty and desire to help others. I want everyone to succeed, to build people up, to help them learn, and to cheer them on. There are so many negative people and things in the world, but the only way to change that is to try to be a positive light in the darkness. And you, my friend are defiantly a positive light.
Thanks for being you.
Heather Reid
July 18, 2012 at 8:08 am
Vaughn, I think choice vs destiny is such an interesting and universal theme. Do we choose? Is there something bigger driving us? I love the idea of how we respond to those who tell us we are destined to do or be something.
I know I’m lucky and I thank my family every day for the support and love they’ve given me over the years. I wish everyone had that kind of support, but the great thing as that the internet provides a wonderful place to find our own tribes, and as much as my family support my writing, they can never truly understand it, not like other writers can. A writing tribe is vital and I’m blessed to be a part of such a wonderful community where I can share with talented writers like you. I’m glad you found your voice again, Vaughn, and that your path brought you here.
All bumps can be overcome. I wouldn’t change my road for anything in the world. I love where and who I am today and I wouldn’t be here without those experiences, no matter how painful or hard they were.
Nicole L. Bates
July 18, 2012 at 9:07 am
I have dreamed of so being so many things, and living so many different lives, and what I’ve discovered is that I can do, and be, all of those things through my writing. Writing has always been a part of me, and will continue to be whether or not any of my words get published.
I am so glad that you found your way through a tough time and discovered such a passion for storytelling. Can you imagine all of the lives your words will touch? It’s amazing. Best of luck to you.
Heather Reid
July 20, 2012 at 11:47 am
So true! That’s the best part about writing, isn’t it? Your words will be published one day, Nicole, I believe it and so should you
Jamie Raintree
July 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm
When I was younger, I wanted to be Britney Spears. No, I’m not ashamed.
Beautiful story. I’m so glad you were able to overcome your illness and hard times. I’m sure your grandma would be very proud of you today.
Heather Reid
July 20, 2012 at 11:48 am
Thanks, Jamie.
You souldn’t be ashamed. 
kimbullock
July 19, 2012 at 7:59 am
That is quite a story, Heather. That’s odd that we both had thyroid problems in our junior years of college. Mine was thyroiditis which caused me to produce three times the amount of hormone I needed. Thankfully, it was temporary and very treatable, but it made for a miserable year as they adjusted doses of the three medications I was on.
Having a supportive family makes all the difference in the world. I can’t wait to read your book!
Heather Reid
July 20, 2012 at 11:49 am
Kim, that is strange! We seem to have a lot of strange commonalities, don’t we
Thanks for commenting as always. I can’t wait for Oak Lovers to find a home.
ddfalvo
July 19, 2012 at 9:12 am
Beautiful post! Laughed out loud at this– “No, you can’t read it. It’s buried in a deep dark hole somewhere in the Tasmanian Outback and guarded by a three-headed dingo.”
Adversity can make us stronger and expand our soul, and if you have writing talent– it gives it wings. I loved reading how your wonderful family supported your dreams. What a precious gift.
Heather Reid
July 20, 2012 at 11:51 am
Thanks, DD.
I wouldn’t trade one second of my adversity for anything. It’s made me who I am today. 
Jani
July 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm
When I read about all the things you guys went through on the way to where you are now, what I struggled with seems like a joke. I don’t mean this in a bad way, it’s just so much adversity, and the perseverance in getting to where you’re destined to be is awe-inspiring. My bad things aren’t half as bad as the rests but because they’re mine, they feel bigger, you know? I know they had an impact on who I turned into, most of it good, some not so much. But that’s the way of bad things. They stay with you and you handle them.
Great post, Heather. I have so much respect for you and what you’ve achieved that I can’t even put it into words. It won’t mean much, but I’m proud of you.
Tonia Marie Houston
July 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I’m sure Heather would say the same, but it matters very much. You certainly matter, more than you know. I think you’re an old and beautiful soul. Your adversity is just what you needed to make you the honest, talented person you are today.
Heather Reid
July 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Jani, first let me say that you saying your proud of me means the world! Don’t ever think of yourself as unimportant. You’re an important and respected part of my life and am so greatful to have met you! My adversity isn’t any greater than yours or anyone else’s. I haven’t been through as much as Courtney or Tonia or a lot of other people in this world, but it was my pain, my hardship to bear, just as yours is yours. Don’t belittle yourself or what you’ve been through in life good and bad, each is significant in your growth and your existance and it’s all important because you’re important. I really do feel like meeting all of you has been kismet. I value each word you write and have learned so much from you. I love your sense of humor, your feirce support, your honesty and your talent. I can’t wait for the day that we meet and hug in real life. I guess for now I’ll have to settle for a virtual one
*hugs* Thank you for being you.
Courtney Koschel
July 27, 2012 at 6:56 am
You are truly an inspiration, and I’m so happy to have the honor of being your friend (and editor!). Our journey is similar in a lot of ways. We both knew what we wanted from a young age, and we both pursued it.
I can relate to having writing be my lifeline. It’s the best therapy there is for a writer. Our experiences and journey are what shape us and turn us into who we are, and I think we’re both doing pretty good for ourselves if I do say so myself
Your journey is just starting, and it’s going to be an awesome ride. I can’t wait for everything to happen for the both of us. Keep on shining, hun.