The older I get, the easier it becomes for me to accept all the bad things that has happened in the years that brought me to the age I am now. When you’re younger and life strikes at you, it feels like the end of the world, doesn’t it? There’s a lot of feeling sorry for yourself, lots of ‘why is this happening to me’, ‘I don’t deserve this,’ and so forth. But then, the younger we are, the more selfish we are when it comes to our feelings and how we see the world. We only lose that as we get older and learn what life is all about.
This week we’re talking about what we’ve learned over the years and I want to tell you about the thing that had the biggest impact on my life. It’s something I wish I’d learned a lot earlier in life, but things turn out the way they are supposed to at the end of the day, right? No matter how we get there.
What I learned is that I have a choice.
It’s as simple as that. Sounds pretty straightforward, and it makes me wonder why I hadn’t realized this before my 24th birthday. It took me twenty-four years to stop worrying so much about everything all the time. It’s exhausting and takes up so much time that I missed out on the other things I could have done.
We don’t have a choice about the bad things that happen in our lives, yours and the ones of the people you care about. What you do have a choice about is what you do with it, how you handle it, and how it affects you as a person. This is what I wish I’d known earlier.
But when I think about it, would I have changed being like that and thinking the way I did? I’m not sure I would, because changing any of that would mean me not being where I am today. I’m pretty okay with right now. I enjoy my job most of the time, I get to write and read as much as I like. I have important people in my life and I like to think that to them I’m important as well. My family’s great, I get to be myself without too many people pulling faces at it(something I’ve chosen not to care about ).
I’ve decided/chosen to do and not do a lot of things over the past four years and I can’t even tell you how things have changed. The biggest of them all, I’m a happier person.
Like the image to the right, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Those words are so true. EVERYBODY is dealing with somethings. The type of person they are determines the level of their battle, and ultimately how they will fight it. This ties in wonderfully with choice.
I’ve leaned not to care so much about things that won’t matter in two weeks time, two months, 2 years. Because caring leads to worry, worry leads to stressing, and before you know it, 3 years have passed and you have nothing to show for it except an ulcer.
Sometimes it’s better to have no plan at all and take it one day. The world isn’t ending anytime soon. Stop, take a breath, sit on the couch, and stare at the wall. Give yourself a moment or two to unwind.
I’ve learned that not everybody cares about what you’re going through, but those who do, those are the people who really matter and will always be there for you. Treasure them.
When I accept that things aren’t going to happen immediately, things get easier and life a little less stressful.
People will disappoint you, but there are ones that will surprise you too.
You have to work to be happy, but you don’t have to be unhappy while doing the work. If that makes sense.
You won’t get along with everybody and vice versa. AND THAT’S OKAY. Stop trying to please everybody, life will be easier that way.
Yes, life is hard, but it wouldn’t be worth living if you didn’t have to put an emotional and physical shoulder to the wheel. You have to fight, sometimes with claws, sometimes with a pillow
I’ve learned that it’s okay to revel in your victories, and you’re allowed to feel sorry for yourself. Just do both with the same amount of restraint.
Don’t annoy/offend people on the internet, especially not on twitter and definitely not writers/authors. We circle our wagons and defend each other like a lioness with her cubs. It’s one of the most amazing things I’ve experienced in years. Not because of personal experience, but from what I’ve seen.
I’ve learned that writing communities/writer friends are worth their weight in gold. I’m saner because of both
Have you made any important choices? Something that changed your life?