I’ve spent the week thinking about the things I’ve learned in my thirty *cough* years. I must admit that I felt a bit daunted putting together this list, especially after reading so many wonderful bits of wisdom from my fellow bloggers already. They’ve all imparted several bits of wisdom that I would have concurred, so I’m going to try not to repeat what they’ve already said. I think I’m the oldest of the hugs and chocolate group, although I’m not sure how many times Rebecca has turned 29, I think I might have turned 29 at least one more time than she has, but it’s never a good idea to ask a woman her age so we’ll leave it at that.
Be true to yourself- don’t compromise who you are for others.
Be authentic- People want to get to know you for you and they can smell if you’re being fake.
Books can take you more places than a pair of shoes ever could.I can buy roughly 71 books for the price of one pair of Jimmy Choo shoes.
You catch more flies with honey- Yes, it’s an old southern saying and it’s true. Be kind, ask nicely, and use the word please.
If you’re looking for a lost CD, you won’t find it. But you will find the lost shoe you were looking for last week.
Fear is the dream stealer.
No matter how mutual the decision, divorce is never easy.
You learn more from failure than you do success
Take Risks and be open to new experiences.
Never turn your back on the waves in Hawaii
Playing an online video game is an unexpected place to fall in love
You can have long and lasting friendships with people you’ve virtually met
The older you get, the less you actually know.
You can take the girl out of Texas but you can’t take Texas out of the girl.
The brain only has the capacity to hold so much information. The day you turn 30 it reaches its limit and must begin to dump old information to make room for new information. That’s why I have trouble remembering where I put my keys.
Talk less and listen more. Everyone has an amazing story to tell if you’re willing to keep your mouth shut long enough.
Never forget to tell the people you care about that you love them. They won’t be around forever.
Love deeply.
You reap what you sew and karma is a bitch
Dream big- the only one stopping you from achieving your goal is you.
Ok hugs and chocolate community. Now it’s your turn. I want to hear what you’ve learned in life. 
Courtney Koschel has been writing since she could hold a crayon. She has worked as a journalist, editor, technical writer, and technical editor. Young adult fiction is near and dear to her heart, which is why she writes YA and all of its glorious sub-genres.
Tonia Marie Houston is a mother, writer, poet, bookworm, and blogger. When sheís not chasing her three spider monkeys, she spends her time revising a young adult novel about life after death and second chances. Though she began to pursue her career later in life, she hopes to inspire and motivate other writers to put their best book forward.
This native Texan now lives with her Scottish hubby in North Ayrshire, Scotland, where she wanders the moors in search of William Wallace. She has been a guest blogger on Writer Unboxed and is currently working on the sequel to her YA supernatural novel, Touched by Darkness.
Jamie Raintree writes what she likes to call everyday fairytale love stories, featuring the little moments in life that are truly magical. She lives in Arizona with her husband and daughter and is currently editing her second novel.
Jani Grey is a South African ambivert, writer, reader, optimist, and bacon enthusiast. When her boss isnít looking she writes, revises, or edits YA Urban Fantasies in between work. Sheís sneaky like that. Sheís a NaNoWriMo addict and is currently working on two NaNo novels.
Rebecca Fields is a modern gypsy, roaming from place to place in search of ñ well, sheíll let you know when she finds it. Writing has become a way for her to share her adventures, both real and imagined. Along with her on her journey are her son and an assortment of rescued animals.
Brenda Drake (@brendadrake)
June 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm
I think I’ve turned 29 many more times than you all. Anyway, this list rocks. I think, when you watch your child go through cancer, you learn to appreciate everything. Also, patience with others, even when they’re ugly. Great post!
Heather Reid
June 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Brenda, I can’t imagine what it must be like to watch your child go through cancer. Appriciating every day must be key. I hope you’ve come out on the other side of the illness and wish you and your family many happy days together. And patience with others is something I think we could all do better. Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned.
Tonia Marie Houston
June 20, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Heather, this is a fab additon to our “lessons learned” posts. All of these hold true, and I laughed at the one about finding your lost shoe when looking for a cd. I lost my glasses for nearly two weeks(ugh, not much writing or reading done!) and found them while I was looking for my favorite lip gloss.
My hubby is only 29- I like them young, ha, and I’ll have to point out the bit of wisdom on reaching memory capacity at thirty. He’s constantly rolling his eyes at my, er, flakiness. Now I have another valid reason(using “I’m a writer…” only goes so far). And he’ll see…oh yes he will.
We’ve had so much fun with this. June has been a great H&C month.
P.S. I met the love of my life in a truckstop. I tell my little sisters the key is to stop looking and they usually turn up in the most random places. But as we know, random is good.
Heather Reid
June 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm
My hubby is younger than me too
Yay for younger men! Ok, so he’s only 1.5 years younger but since my first husband was 10 years older, it’s a big difference. 
And your hubby WILL see what we mean about turning 30. Yes, he will. lol
I love that you met your love at a truckstop. One of the peices of advice that I had on my list but cut was that you can’t find love…love finds you
Random is awesome!
Courtney Koschel
June 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I love love love your list, Heather. Thank you for sharing. I’m from Alabama, and I was always taught to say please and thank you, sir and ma’am. I say excuse me when I need to get by someone, and I try so hard to be polite. It truly does get you places. Also, I think it’s true that you can take the girl out of the south, but you can’t take the south out of the girl
I’d like some sweet tea and BBQ right about now, lol.
Karma is most definitely a bitch. It’s not difficult to treat others with respect, and it will only make you look better.
You’re an awesome person, and I’m so glad we’ve met (and hell yes you can have long lasting relationships with people you’ve met online). Thanks for being you
Heather Reid
June 20, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Yay for Southern girls! Oh how I miss BBQ and southern hospitality. I remember the first time I called someone ma’am over here…they actually laughed in my face and told me I shouldn’t say that because people would take offense. I thought that was so weird! It still slips out occasionally and do get an odd look when it does. My kids will be learning yes ma’am and no ma’am though no matter where they live. I promise you that.
Love you lots, Courtney! Hell yah to long lasting relationships! What would I do without you ladies?
bwtaylor75
June 20, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Hmm…what have I learned in my 29 years? What, I thought EVERYONE was 29?!?
Don’t be afraid to share. Share some knowledge, an umbrella, your lunch, anything. Sometimes those small acts of kindness can touch others in ways we never knew.
Everyone is not a winner. Despite what my niece has been taught in school, sometimes we fail, or lose. It’s not the fact that we didn’t win, but how we deal with the loss, or failure, that really matters.
Leave things a little better than when you found them.
Nothing beats a soft and lazy snowflurry. I love snow, and winter. It might have something to do with me being born in December.
I’d like to think I was led to this blog for a reason. I started out looking for some query advice (who isn’t) and what I found was a talented group of ladies who managed to impress and inspire me with their knowledge and passion for writing. I cannot recommend this blog enough, and I often do. I can’t imagine if I didn’t have the guts to post my old query letter under Heather’s post: Learn To Love Writing Queries. I would have missed out on all of this, and all of you. So thank you for opening your door to a horror writing stranger. My only hope is that I can be as inspiring and passionate as each of you.
Heather Reid
June 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Awww, thanks Brian
We December babies must stick together! Snow is magical.
I LOVE your list. Sharing is so important. You never know what a small act of kindness can do. Thank you for the reminder.
I agree that not everyone is a winner. It’s impossible to win all the time. It’s about learning and moving on. I do believe we learn more from failing than we do when we succeed. As long as we take what we learn and keep getting back up. That’s what’s important.
I want to give you a big hug! I’m so glad you stumbled onto our blog. This tribe wouldn’t be the same without you. Your passion shines through everything you do. Your genuine support and willingness to share inspires me. It means a lot to me and I know it does to the whole H & C gang.
vaughnroycroft
June 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm
This has been a fun theme. Love your list. Great job by the whole H&C gang! Okay, here’s something I learned from a wise friend (told in story form–big surprise,right?). I was moaning to him about how people didn’t really know I was a writer, and when they find out, and also that I’m still unpubbed, I always get the classic eye-roll. His bit of wisdom in reply: “People will only give you three adjectives, so you’ve got to fight to make them the ones you want.”
I better explain. He told me to shop whining, that I had it easy, that his are tough. He said his are: 1. Gay, 2. Stewardess (he’s an airline steward…), and 3. Jewelry Guy (and he’s a talented jewelry designer). He said mine at the time were: 1. Mo’s Husband, 2. Carpenter, and 3.Ex-Lumber-Guy (we used to own a lumber distributorship). He told me I had to put it out there, emphatically, every chance I got. “I am a Writer, dammit! It’s my number one!” Just so people will drop one of the old ones to add it to the bottom of the three they’re willing to give.
Writer still might not be my number one for people around here, but it is online now. And I think it’s finally number becoming number three for most people. Great job, Heather. Thank goodness for those great and longlasting virtual friendships.
Don’t forget to fight for your adjectives!
Heather Reid
June 22, 2012 at 5:19 am
Vaughn, what an amazing bit of wisdom! I love the idea of fighting for your adjectives. I think you should write a blog post around that. I agree we should all have writer as number one, but it’s hard when you don’t feel validated in your work. Thanks for sharing!
Jamie Raintree
June 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm
“You can have long and lasting friendships with people you’ve virtually met” — So true! Sometimes they’re better than my IRL friends.
I also loved, “Dream big- the only one stopping you from achieving your goal is you.” Hard to accept, but when you do, powerful.
Heather Reid
June 22, 2012 at 5:20 am
Thanks Jamie! I consider all my hugs and chocolate ladies virtual friends.
I agree that sometimes they ARE better than IRL friends. Hope the move is going well and you’re getting settled.
Jani
June 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm
It’s funny, I had lunch with my friend yesterday(you saw the pic I tweeted
) and she showed me the pic you used here. It’s very fitting for all writers. I love your list. It’s so honest and heartfelt, and I agree with everything. I’m putting up my list on Wednesday 