“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
~e.e. cummings
I’m a pantser. I love to navigate the deep wells of my subconscious and let the story surprise me.
Lately, I’ve been fighting the current and arbitrarily praying someone will toss me a life saver, or perhaps a posh Caribbean Cruise liner.
This is what the revision process became to me- dark waters toiling with monstrous squid and piranha. And they were all hungry. My fear ran like blood. Sure enough, the big kahuna shark came sniffing. Les Edgerton, author of finding your voice dubs this big fish “Critic Nag Dude.”
Critic Nag Dude had me right where he wanted me. I considered shelving my manuscript.
Then, I remembered something a wise little fish once said:
And this: “Finish your sh**.”
I couldn’t ignore an animated fish with short-term memory loss and the guy who tells aspiring writers,”Your jealousy and depression do not matter.” (If you love Dory, buy the movie. If you love Chuck, read more here.)
So, I’ve been back to work. To be honest, I know this is going to take awhile. I’ve read the blogs and author interviews in which the writer says revising a manuscript takes them anywhere from a mere two weeks to four months, on the outside. To a mewing pantser-me-that’s daunting.
I hereby grant myself permission to do the work that needs done in the amount of time it takes to make it amazing.
Whether you’re a pantser or plotter, I’m sure many of you’ve found that revision changes the relationship between writer and story. It’s more painful, we must kill a few darlings and come to terms with our little foibles.
But there is a balance between the red ink, hives, and lack of sleep.
This is the balance, the secret:
Revision is your opportunity to crawl inside your story and live there for a while.
I love words and I’m a poet by nature. But I’m taking this opportunity to re-examine my language and voice. I decided the most important element for me is voice-not just my own unique personality, but my main character’s voice. I went through my notes one day and found a note. It read, “Evie says she didn’t do it.” This was scribbled on a purple post-it, so I assume it was one those episodes in which I jumped out of the shower, suds in hair, to jot down a flash of an idea.
This was a moment worthy of a head smack for me. I pulled out my first draft and read it from beginning to end. And it was in there, a mere zygote, but it was there. It reminded me why I started the tale in the first place. Evie, my main character, appeared to me before her story did. In true ghost fashion, her image haunted me. I knew what she wanted and that only I could give that to her.
It is only now that I comprehend what pantsing means to me. I can’t fight my organic nature as a writer. I had to take a step back to realize that my first draft is more of a skeleton, with some muscular structure. Now, I can take out the unneeded bits and begin the layering process.
And guess what, I’ve learned to love revision. I believe in my story, and myself, again. I know I’ll be a better writer when I’m done, and that new ventures - query letters, rejections, more edits-await me. I’m learning to stop comparing my own long, strange trip to that of other writers. We can offer each other advice and support, but we can’t teach intuition. It’s different for everyone.
I read that magic happens outside our comfort zone. It’s true. I’m enjoying the show.
If you’re thinking about putting that story in a cubbyhole, don’t. It may go to The Land of Lost Socks and never be heard from again. Ask yourself what pulled you into that world in the first place. Perhaps it’s only the bare framework, but there’s something bright and inquisitive in there, trying to speak to you.
Keep on swimming and finish what you start.
Courtney Koschel has been writing since she could hold a crayon. She has worked as a journalist, editor, technical writer, and technical editor. Young adult fiction is near and dear to her heart, which is why she writes YA and all of its glorious sub-genres.
Tonia Marie Houston is a mother, writer, poet, bookworm, and blogger. When sheís not chasing her three spider monkeys, she spends her time revising a young adult novel about life after death and second chances. Though she began to pursue her career later in life, she hopes to inspire and motivate other writers to put their best book forward.
This native Texan now lives with her Scottish hubby in North Ayrshire, Scotland, where she wanders the moors in search of William Wallace. She has been a guest blogger on Writer Unboxed and is currently working on the sequel to her YA supernatural novel, Touched by Darkness.
Jamie Raintree writes what she likes to call everyday fairytale love stories, featuring the little moments in life that are truly magical. She lives in Arizona with her husband and daughter and is currently editing her second novel.
Jani Grey is a South African ambivert, writer, reader, optimist, and bacon enthusiast. When her boss isnít looking she writes, revises, or edits YA Urban Fantasies in between work. Sheís sneaky like that. Sheís a NaNoWriMo addict and is currently working on two NaNo novels.
Rebecca Fields is a modern gypsy, roaming from place to place in search of ñ well, sheíll let you know when she finds it. Writing has become a way for her to share her adventures, both real and imagined. Along with her on her journey are her son and an assortment of rescued animals.
vaughnroycroft
April 27, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I’ve heard those two-month-type stories too. You’ve landed on the best strategy, Tonia: not giving in to the temptation of comparing ourselves or our method to anyone else. If you want a comparison that will make you feel good, use me. I finished the first draft of my trilogy in June of ’09. It’s been through at least three major rewrites and countless tweaks. And guess what–it looks like it needs another. After a first round of submissions, getting a few requests from partials and some helpful notes from rejecting agents, consulting with my critique editor and some beta readers, I’m considering rewriting the opening…Again. :-/ But in the scheme of things, it doesn’t matter how long it takes. We’re in this for the long haul, right? And the first one has got to be right if I want readers to read on. So back to Dorie’s mantra.
Great post, and good luck layering that flesh onto the bone. Sounds like you’re on the right track!
Tonia Marie Houston
April 27, 2012 at 8:14 pm
Yes, Vaughn, we’re in it for the long haul. It sounds like we work in fairly similar ways-what a relief.
This writing thing is quite a trip and I love it. I feel like I’m on the right track, at last. I think it’s encouraging to share our stories, and struggles. I wrote this thinking, “There may be someone out there who needs to read this today, or sometime in the future. Someone who needs to be given permission to work out their own method, and realize it’s not a matter of time, but quality.”
It’s always a treat to have you stop by.
Stacy S. Jensen
April 27, 2012 at 9:48 pm
I just opened up my manuscript after a two-month break. I only opened the file to print the first chapter for a conference workshop on revision. I have no idea how long it will take, but I want to finish my sh**.
Tonia Marie Houston
April 28, 2012 at 8:23 am
Stacy, you seem no less than a finish your sh** kind of person. Don’t you love the asteriks? My two-year-old was around when I wrote this post, meaning my internal bad word editor was on. But I believe what Chuck says. This means I have my first manuscript to get back to one day.*shudders*. But I’m sure there’s something to it, it was the first time I stuck with a story and finished a rough draft.
Best wishes for the conference.
Jamie Raintree
April 28, 2012 at 12:01 am
I jumped to this post in my feed reader because I’m totally feeling this. There’s so much pressure now to get the second draft “right” that I’m a little paralyzed. I want so badly to get moving on my revision but I’m afraid of doing it all wrong and messing up my story. I’m going to take some time to get back to my original idea and see where it leads me.
Micki
April 28, 2012 at 8:11 am
Thanks for sharing your experience revising. I’m in the same process and feel like it’s more writing it all over than revising. *sigh* Keep swimming.
Tonia Marie Houston
April 28, 2012 at 9:04 am
I’m so happy you came by, Micki.
I am rewriting all the time. Deep breaths. We’ve got this.
Tonia Marie Houston
April 28, 2012 at 8:28 am
I know that paralysis you’re talking about. I don’t like that feeling. That’s another reason I’m taking my time–I don’t want to change the fundamentals of the story. I know if I rush, I’ll have a three-headed monster in red hot pants before I’m done. A hot mess noone can love,lol.
Take a deep breath and take your time. I’ve read so much of your work, I know the story will be brilliant and touching. We can’t fight our intuition, and it sounds like yours is telling you to ease into it at the right time.
You are also one of the most productive people I know. Just trust your instincts.
Sarah Marie
April 28, 2012 at 12:36 pm
When I examined my novel last fall, I realized that it was a mere skeleton, too. I was missing entire conversations essential to my story! I was actually missing flashbacks entering in my main character’s thoughts that would show how her actions actually affected her.
One of the things I did was make an outline of each chapter on notecards, and then spread them out on the floor and look at my overall structure. It helped a lot. I’m glad you’re starting to love revising.
It’s so much fun! It’s where the magic happens.
Heather Reid
April 29, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Tonia, what a great post! This is exactly how I’ve felt as a pantster trying to revise. But, like you, I learned to LOVE revision. The key is to not let yourself get too bogged down with how much you still have left to do. Take it one word, one sentence, one paragraph at a time. Before you know it, you’ll be at the end. Don’t rush either. It’s not a race. It takes as long as it takes. For it, it was a full six months of hard revisions, adding meat to my skeleton and diving deeper into my story. This is where you really start to bleed onto the page. Thanks for sharing your journey! We believe in you and in Evie. Write on, soul sista!